NEWSFLASH!!

Good news for Zimbabweans worldwide!

Robert Mugabe, succumbing to intense world and internal pressure resigned early this morning.

After a spate of "troublemaker bashing" i.e. brutalising and arresting opposition members at every opportunity, the Zimbabwean dictator finally realised that the troubled status quo could not continue. After a long night's discussions with possible successors, Mugabe announced his resignation early this morning "for the good of Zimbabwe".

World leaders have rejoiced and sent messages of congratulation to Morgan Tsvangirai, the leader of the opposition who has taken some particularly bad beatings from Mugabe's security forces of late.

Tsvangirai was elated and smiled through copious tears: "We've shown that might is not necessarily right. The will of the people is stronger than any dictator. Perhaps now our people will finally feel free."

The successorship batlle should be an interesting spectacle to watch as there appear to be no worthy successors to stand up to the plate.

Can Zimbabwe pull themselves out of the hole they've dug for themselves or have the walls crumbled and the mud already covered up the remains of what was once called "the breadbasket of Africa"??